Knickers for confidence: Not just for the bedroom!

Lori Smith is a frequent blogger, tweeter and full-time lingerie aficionado. She writes about fashion, feminism and sex/relationships for a handful of websites including her own, Rarely Wears Lipstick. She will soon be returning to university to study fashion part-time, providing her with even more opportunities to write about underwear!

It can sometimes be extremely difficult to feel gorgeous. We’re all subjected to images of beautiful people every day, via newspapers, magazines, television and advertising. Beautiful people who we can’t help but compare ourselves to, no matter how hard we try not to. So, with this in mind, how on earth do we go about improving our own body confidence? Well, believe it or not, lingerie can help with this.

Many women think that gorgeous elaborate underwear is for the bedroom alone - designed purely to make us look good for our partners. But don’t you always feel good when you’re wearing something that you love? When you zip up that super flattering work dress, or slip on those gorgeous yet comfortable heels, don’t you feel like you could take on the world? Pretty lingerie can give you that feeling no matter what you choose to wear over it.

None of us dresses solely for the benefit of other people. We have our own style, our own balance point between style and comfort, and our own favourite garments. So, if you’re wearing the clothes you love for your own benefit, it doesn’t even matter if it’s something that no one else will see. You’ll still get the same confidence boost from something that only you know is there.

Obviously, any lingerie that you’re planning on wearing all day will have to be comfortable, so make sure you pick styles that you’re 100% happy with. If you’re a fan of big pants, get yourself some sexy big pants. If you like a g-string to avoid the dreaded VPL, add one or two that are a little less plain to your collection. There are a whole host of beautiful bras that won’t show under clothing too. Satin is perfect for underneath t-shirts, and lace can be worn under anything that’s not quite so clingy. Once you’re fully dressed, no one need know. Just imagine if you were wearing an Etti Satin Longline Bra under your boring black work shirt. That would definitely liven up dull meetings for me!

If we feel good when we get dressed in the morning, it shows in all sorts of ways. You might be smiling more than usual when you arrive at the office, drawing compliments from colleagues. If you choose undies that fit and flatter your shape, the smooth lines of your clothing will make you feel better when you’re sat at your desk and that little confidence boost will work wonders.

Why not try some frilly knickers or pin-up panties underneath your comfy old jeans? Or perhaps a silk chemise worn as a slip underneath that boring old dress that you’ve had for years but just can’t bear to be parted from. Pretty underwear doesn’t always have to feature stockings and suspenders, especially if that’s not your thing.

So, when you look at a beautiful set of lingerie featuring lace and satin, don’t think “it’s gorgeous, but when would I wear it?” Instead, think about how you’d feel if you were wearing it underneath your everyday clothes. Good, huh? It’d be like you were going on a date with yourself, and every girl likes to feel a bit special once in a while. Go on... you’re worth it.

Embracing Your Alter Ego – How Having a Stage Name or Persona Can Improve Your Confidence

Tigz Rice is an internationally published photographer specializing in burlesque and boudoir photography. Opening the doors to her photography studio Tigz Rice Studios in December 2009, Tigz has had the privilege of working with some of the top industry names, including the official photography at a number of the European Burlesque Festivals. When she’s not taking photographs, Tigz also performs burlesque throughout the UK under the pseudonym of Raven Six and has just been nominated as a finalist in the newcomer section of the World Burlesque Games.

© Tigz Rice Studios

If you had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting me during my early years, you’ll probably remember that I was one of the most boring children in the playground. In fact, I was so ‘glum’ – as my year six tutor so wonderfully put it – after many years of school bullying for being a little overweight and having a maturity level of several years above my own age group, that I invented an alter ego. I’m not really sure if it was planned or not as the name Tigz was originally intended as nothing more than a bit of harmless fun on a youth club camping trip. However, this alter ego brought something else out of me that weekend and I started signing off everything with this new name. Inspired by the cartoon character, I suppose it allowed me to channel a few more of Tigger’s Traits, becoming far more playful in my personality and allowing me to completely bounce back from any negativity I experienced. The new ‘me’ embraced unpopular music, had extreme hairstyles, vocalised opinions and generally challenged conformity without the fear of acceptance. Ironically, it was this new persona that finally did bring the acceptance I’d craved for years – but by then I was way past the point of caring about what other people thought about me.

Having recently taken the plunge into the burlesque industry as a performer, I have once again found a need to create a new alter ego to segregate that part of my life from my businesswoman mindset. Raven is inspired by one specific memory in my teenage years and seems to be a division of Tigz - rather than being two separate people, they are like twins with Raven being the far more mischievous one! Raven is the dare devil, the stripper, the uninhibited. She doesn’t ask for attention, she demands it. She epitomises the bird of prey – elegant yet deadly, never smiling. Tigz, on the other hand epitomizes the Tiger. She is powerful, strategic and fiercely competitive, yet has a cuddly, playful disposition if you get her in the right mood! I’m sure there is a reason why I’ve chosen to name myself after to predatorial animals, but that’s probably going a little too deep for a blog post…

Many people from all walks of life embrace an alter ego, whether its to separate fun from responsibility or to give them more confidence in situations they wouldn’t otherwise feel comfortable in. When posing this thought to the powers of social media, burlesque performer Ruby Woo wrote “As soon as I think ‘OK, what would Ruby Woo do?’ I forget myself for 5 minutes because I’m in someone else's mind set.” Using a different name also can provide anonymity for those who would prefer to keep parts of their life completely separate. Miss Von Trapp replied “being Miss Von Trapp enables me to [differentiate] from my other roles as worker and mother.” My personal favourite response came from Divine Miss Em, who wrote “If the audience don't like what I do I can blame that naughty Divine Miss Em and not take it personally!”

Having an alter ego isn’t just about stage presence either. Lizzi Hobcraft, founder of Betty Blues Loungerie says that have an alter ego is an important part of her company branding. “It's like acting - you create a character that can project your 'brand'. I couldn't get up on stage and talk to an audience about me but ' Betty' is not me so somehow it is less scary.” Many other people responded in the same way that I feel about the name ‘Tigz’. “Miss Honey is the ultimate expression of  'me-ness' and a play on my nickname”, says hair and make up artist Miss Honey Bare, whilst actress Jo Richardson wrote “my [alter ego] embodies all the women I admire and who inspire me. I know when to leave her sleeping, and likewise, when to let her take the lead”

Embracing your alter ego is not only fun, but a great way to challenge yourself to new experiences, whether it is wearing more provocative underwear, applying for that promotion or jumping out of a plane! Why not try it – you might be surprised by your own capabilities…