Lady Unmentionable: Donna Britannica Hollandia

As a well-know A-list celebrity socialite, or at least that is how the Playful Promises team describe me, I take inspiration and interest in inspirational characters and socialites from past and present. I'd like to share some of these notable personages.

Holland's Leaguer

I recently came across Donna Hollandia, perhaps not the most moral role-model, however her story stands out for me. During a time where women were repressed and treated like objects she broke free and became a socialite of her period.

Her story starts in 1542. William Baseley was the King's Bailiff, and in that year he purchased the lease for a Manor House in Paris Gardens, located in Southwark. He transformed this estate into a casino with all the tricks of the day including card tables and dice games.

Modern Red-Light Districts

The Manor House began to gain a reputation, however when the house was passed onto Henry Carey, Queen Elizabeth I's cousin, this was when the reputation really began to take a turn. Henry Carey, better known as Lord Hudson or 'The Golden Lad', began renting the Manor to Pimps and Madams.

The Manor House of Paris Gardens became a High-Class club, catering for the nobility, gentry and emerging affluent middle class. The Manor still offered gambling as well as wine, food and sex.

The Manor House changed hands regularly. The infamous 'Long Meg' of Westminster was one of the Madam's pimping out prostitutes before Donna Britannica Hollandia took charge.

Her preposterous 'nom de guerre' (war-name), testified to her experience as a whore, a Madam and an undying character. Later, the Manor House was named Holland's Leaguer after Donna and a punning reference to the Anglo Dutch wars of the 17th century. She was also known as the 'princess of whoredom'.

Donna started life as a prostitute in the 'Italian Quarter' of London in Cripplegate. She then promoted herself to the role of a Madam at St Andrews-by-the-Wardrobe. She had impeccable credentials and a vast array of contacts including nobility, gentry and royalty. When she found herself arrested and sent to Newgate Goal, prison, she soon pulled strings to escape as she threatened to expose saucy secrets from her 'little black book' of clients.

Map of The Manor House

Once she had paid her dues to those who helped her to freedom, she sought work outside of the City walls. She was directed to the Manor house of Paris Gardens.

The High-Class brothel was located on the bankside, on the southern shore of the River Thames. Brothels were commonly located around Southwark and the bankside, outside the control of the London civil authorities, just as were the theatres and bars. It was situated in a street now known as Holland Street.

The building itself was equipped with a moat, portcullis and a drawbridge. Securely fortified images depict the Manor house with armed guards with muskets and ladies amusing themselves in the garden.

Donna Hollandia saw the possibilities of this house and its location. She wasted no time in transforming the Manor House into a discreet gentlemen's club. With her prestigious contact list she was able to have the authorities turn a blind eye to the activites of the business in exchange of a fresh young prostitute.

The Manor House and Donna received fame and fortune. She soon became one of the most famous Madams in London. A whole host of celebrity patrons were associated with the brothel including King James I and George Villiers.

The bordelloe was luxuriously furnished and offered every comfort known to man. Wine and food was free flowing. The girls were experts in 'squeezing' every penny out of their clients. But customers got what they paid for; they left exhausted and satisfied.

Donna was reknown for her strong character, running the house with great efficiency and offering a draconian security to her employees. The safety of her girls was paramount; nobody was allowed to mistreat them. Donna hired full-time security as well as a doctor to keep the girls healthy and clean. Any misbehaviour meant instant and permanent expulsion, whatever the rank or class of the customer.

As a private club, membership was much sought-after with potential punters being asked to present credentials at the gatehouse before being turned away or further questioning. After this they would be escorted across the drawbridge. Donna would personally greet each client and delve into his requirements and needs.

As a rule, customers with no money were not allowed inside the club, no matter how famous or important they may have been. This ensured the Manor House remained an exclusive club with plenty of fortune. 

Donna's club started with just four hand-picked girls, selected for their 'special' talents. Beta Brestonia rumoured to be impudent and insolent, Eliza Caunce a nymphomaniac, Longa Maria, Maria Pettit considered to be a real live-wire. Many girls tired of the discipline Donna ensued and therefore the turn-over of prostitutes was high.

A bout of bad publicity after a case of 'whore-bashing' by certain members of nobility meant standards started to slip. Donna and her club was safe during the reign of James I, but when Charles I succeeded the throne parliament became commited to cracking down on brothels and prostitution. She could no longer bribe the local constables.

Charles I

By december 1631 the authorities decided to intervene and shut-down the club. This is where Donna Britannica Hollandia and her 'nom de guerre' really showed her true colours and capabilities.

Thirty years as a Madam had turned her into an excellent strategist. She greeted the law with defiance and an army of whores. Using the Manor House's defence system, her first action was to attract the defence as far as her drawbridge. She then let the drawbridge fall to the ground, pounding the floor and sending the officers flying into the moat of muddy water.

The whores were ready, launching missiles and throwing whatever they could towards the men. Unfortunately this included a mass of chamber-pots including their contents! The men limped away in shame.

A second attempt to gain access into the Manor House was met with similar defences and the men were thwarted. Onlookers jeered at the soldiers as a bunch of harlots lead by Donna managed to push away the small army.

From this time, the Manor House of Paris Gardens was named Holland's Leaguer.

The Manor House at Paris Gardens

Unfortunately Donna and her girls were finally ambushed and Holland's Leaguer was shut-down and further demolished.

There is no further information about Donna Hollandia, but I suspect her list of contacts meant she was not sleeping rough.

When in Rome....: Ancient Sex Gods

Often we lust over another person, obsess over them, fancy them and even describe him or her as a 'sex god'. Few of us will actually go as far as worshipping this 'sex god' (thankfully), but in the past there has been a multitude of gods dedicated to fertility and sexual pleasure.

Tim Curry plays a sex god striving to create his perfect man in The Rocky Horror Picture Show

The most notorious gods of sex are from Egyptian, Greek and Roman Mythology. However, when the Romans invaded Britain 2000 years ago Londoners and the British population were required to worship these mystical gods.

Southwark was seen as today's Soho. It was the heart of the sex scene and like Soho or Las Vegas magnificent buildings were dedicated to the gods of sex, pleasure and lust. These gods would be worshipped to such an extent that palaces and temples were built in dedication. Worship was very much a celebration fuelled by wine turning into rather wild processions and often culminating in frenzied public orgies.

Devotees would perform religious duties such as carrying gigantic phalluses in a procession or handing around wine in jugs on specific 'days of drinking'.

Jug with Temple inscription

In the twentieth century, remains underneath Southwark Cathedral and in Tooley Street were discovered of a substantial Roman Temple. A jug was also discovered inscribed with 'LONDINI AD FANUM ISIDIS' - In London, at the Temple of Isis.

Isis

Isis was the main Ancient Egyptian goddess worshipped in London during the Roman occupation, her worship spreading throughout the Greco-Roman world. She represented fertility as well as being the patron of nature and magic. She was worshipped as the ideal mother and wife. Isis is depicted as the mother of Horus, another Ancient Eygptian God. This hawk-headed god of war and protection is often seen suckling on Isis in a similar depiction as that of the Virgin Mary with Jesus. Isis was also known as protector of the dead and goddess of children.

As the story goes, Isis married her brother Osiris and they conceived Horus. When Osiris was murdered, Isis was instrumental in his resurrection, using her magic to restore life to his body. This death and rebirth was relived each year through rituals.

Isis

As the fertility goddess, this beautiful dark-haired woman recruited many devotees, particularly in women. The most noble empresses to the lowest whores on the bank of the River Thames came to worship.

The temple of Isis in Southwark was known as 'houses of assignation'. This was where women conducting secret affaires could rendezvous with their lovers or clients. Women were even known to pick-up a willing partner or simply confide in priests about all aspects of love, sex and fertility.

Harpocrates was the god of silence, adapted by the Greek from the Ancient Egyptian child god Horus. Horus represented the newborn sun and was the child of Isis and Osiris. He was considered the victorious god of the sun who each day overcame darkness.

Although Harpocrates did not have a dedicated temple in London or Britain, he often featured across London's Roman brothels. Depicted as a man with a penis two or three times taller than the rest of him, his picture was painted across ceilings, walls and doors. He was known for his sexual prowess and his image was supposed to 'spur-on' clients to the max. This deity was also depicted in figurines with one vast penis, sometimes even used as an oil lamp with the erect penis holding the oil. The figurine was meant to protect lovers from evil demons lurking In the dark and help redouble their efforts in amorous pursuits.

Apollo was also a widely worshipped deity in London and one of the most important and complex Olympian deities in ancient Greek and Roman religion. Recognised as the god of light and sun, healing, truth and prophecy, he was the prophetic deity of the Delphi Oracle. Apollo was also seen as the god who could bring ill-health and deadly plague, so it becomes clear why he was profoundly worshipped in London where the plague was so common.

Apollo chasing Daphne

Apollo was a leader of muses as well as patron god of music and poetry. His love affairs were also renowned, although these were only attributed to him in later development of Greek mythology. Famously, in Ovid's Metamorphoses, Phoebus Apollo chaffs cupid for toying with a weapon more suited to a man. Cupid wounds Apollo with a Golden Dart and simultaneously shoots a leaden love-repelling arrow into Daphne, a nymph who scorned Apollo and all men. Daphne flees Apollo's relentless chasing until she can no longer bare his pleading and boasting. She seeks help from her father Peneus, the river god, who transforms her into the Laurel tree which was sacred to Apollo.

Hermes was the messenger god, and although he was less worshipped as a sex god he still played a vital part in meetings of the heart. It has always been uncertain of his deity origins. Some argue he is a native god worshipped since the neolithic era, others suggest he was 'imported' from Asia via Cyprus or Cilicia.

Hermes' cult was established in the remote regions of Greece, where he was worshipped as a god of nature with shamanic attributes like divination, magic and sacrifices. More appropriately he was also considered a re-conciliator and initiator of contact between places of existence, a mediator between worlds. For this reason he was worshipped as a god of sex as the Romans in London needed to worship a messenger, someone who could action communication between loved ones in Rome, new meetings and more.

Hermes statue complete with erect penis

In early Londinium, Hermes 'fertility figures' were a common sight in the streets. These statues were sited at major intersections. The statue was positioned on a square pillar around six foot high, often featuring a large erect penis, complete with testicles. Passing women would touch and fondle the stone penis and pray for the god's intervention whether it be in successfully conceiving a child, making the woman more desirable, strength in a relationship or success in finding clients if the woman was a prostitute.

Burlesque Past and Present: Josephine Baker

The art of the tease is on everyone's lips; with a rising interest in burlesque, cabaret clubs are in full swing and new acts are cropping up every week. At Playful Promises we just adore a bit of cheek, and would love to introduce you to our favourite burly girls, past and present! Keep your eyes firmly peeled, as each week we feature inspiring performers guaranteed to set pulses racing!

In our rip-roaring burlesque series we just couldn’t miss out one of the true icons of the 20s and 30s. With nicknames such as the “Bronze Venus” and “Black Pearl”, Josephine Baker was the first African American female to star in a major motion picture and become a world-famous entertainer. And if that wasn’t awesome enough, she used her status to kick political ass both during the Civil Rights Movement in the US and World War 2, becoming the first American-born woman to receive the French military honour, the Croix de Guerre.

Freda Josephine McDonald was born on June 3, 1906 in St. Louis, Missouri, she soon became fluent in both English and French. When she was 8 she was sent to work for a white woman who abused her, burning her hands because she put too much soap in the laundry.

Times were evidently tough, as Josephine dropped out of school at 12, turning to life on the streets. She made her living dancing on street corners, and at 15 was recruited for the St. Louis Chorus Vaudeville show. Her budding career sent her to New York, where she began to perform in the chorus of popular Broadway revues.

Josephine took last place in the chorus line, a traditionally comic role, which required the dancer to act as if they had forgotten the routine. Then, in the encore, they would not only perform correctly but with added complexity, outshining the other members. She became so well known for this that she was described as the “highest-paid chorus girl in vaudeville”.

She gained popularity, opening a show at the Theatre des Champs-Elysees on the 2nd October 1925 in Paris. Her skimpy costume and erotic style of dancing was an instant success, catapulting her into fame. Josephine went on to star at the Folies Bergères, performing the Danse Sauvage in her iconic banana costume.

Her success was perhaps complimented by the explosion of Art Deco and a renewed interest in ethnic art; her African descent of particular interest. Of course, she played up to this, often allowing her pet cheetah, Chiquita, on stage with her. The animal would often escape into the orchestra pit, terrorizing the musicians and adding an element of excitement to the show.

Ernest Hemingway even called her “...the most sensational woman anyone ever saw”.

Josephine married four times, her first to Willie Wells in 1918 when she was just 13. Needless to say, the marriage was very unhappy, and they divorced a short time later. Three years down the line, she suffered another short marriage to Willie Baker. The surname stuck, and she became known as Josephine Baker by audiences worldwide.

It was possible that her marriages didn’t last long because of the numerous lesbian affairs she had. She was known to be bisexual, and it has even been reported that she was involved with Mexican artist Frida Kahlo.

Despite Josephine’s popularity in France she didn’t receive the same response in the country of her birth; upon a visit to the United States in 1935, her performances received poor opening reviews.

In 1937 she married once again, to a Frenchman, Jean Lion, renouncing her American citizenship without difficulty.

In fact, she loved her adopted country of France so much that when WW2 broke out she volunteered as a spy. She began to work for the French government as an “honourable correspondent”, using her celebrity status to report any gossip she heard at the numerous parties she attended, including those at the Italian embassy.

If that wasn’t impressive enough, she used her cover of a jet-setting entertainer to smuggle secrets around Europe. How? Using invisible ink on her sheet music and pinning notes on the inside of her underwear!

In 1941 she went to the French colonies in North Africa, claiming it was for her health, but she in fact set up based to help with the resistance. She also took the time to entertain troops with her performances.

The War finished, yet the struggle for equality continued with the American Civil Rights Movement. Josephine was no stranger to being treated differently due to the colour of her skin, both positively and negatively.

In 1951 she was refused service by Sherman Billingsley’s Stork Club in Manhattan. Although one of Baker’s sons contests the incident was exaggerated, it is said that the actress Grace Kelly was also in attendance. Seeing the situation, she rushed over to Josephine, taking her by the arm and storming them both out, vowing never to return.

Josephine protested in her own way, adopting 12 multi-ethnic orphans, calling them the “Rainbow Tribe” and refusing to perform for segregated audiences.

So impressive was her spirit, that she was offered leadership of the movement by Coretta Scott King in 1968, following Marin Luther King Jr.’s assassination. After much thought she turned the position down, saying her children were “too young to lose their mother”.

Josephine’s actions were honoured worldwide, with different countries inviting her to perform. She took to the stage in Cuba, Yugoslavia and a 1973 stint at the Carnegie Hall, where she received a standing ovation. 

On 8 April, 1975, Josephine starred in a retrospective revue celebrating her 50 years in show business. The audience was jam-packed full of stars desperate to see the glorious icon, and the critics were raving.

It was four days later when Josephine was found lying peacefully in her bed, surrounded by the glowing newspaper reviews of her performance. She had slipped into a coma after suffering a cerebral haemorrhage, and died at the age of 68.

At her funeral she received full French military honours, and will always be remembered for her beautiful smile and good heart.

We do love to be beside the seaside!

There is little that is more British than fish and chips at the seaside (unless of course you have Johnny Rotten holding butter in one hand and a Bulldog that is chewing on it's Union Jack sweater in the other and have written "KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON" in the sand). 

Us Brits just love a bit of twee (and tweed), so it's no wonder the Great British Holiday is coming back in fashion as a "retro" thing to do. Clever marketing from the Government or not, we can't say no to holidaying by the British seaside. You require balls of steel to go in the water, but who needs water anyway! 

This lovely warm weather has made me lust for my holiday getaway (my parents live in Cornwall), and these amazing vintage British holiday posters almost make that 6 hour train journey sound like a bundle of fun!

So where will you be holidaying this summer? Are you jetting off to a distant land, or staying in old Blighty? And what about our overseas fans?

Wherever you galavant off to, make sure you have you Playful Promises swimwear packed and ready!

Retro Fetish: John Willie and the Bizarre

To accompany this blog post I got together with this era's own Sweet Gwendoline, Miss Miranda for a 50's fetish inspired photoshoot! Images (exluding Bizarre artwork)©Anna Swiczeniuk

John Alexander Scott Coutts, also known as John Willie (slang for penis, as if you couldn't guess) was often described as the Leonardo Da Vinci of fetish, famous for producing 1950s magazine Bizarre. 

Born on 9th December 1902 in Singapore to British parents, the family moved back to England shortly after. In 1923 at the age of 18, he joined the British Army. Two years later he rose to the rank of Second Lieutenant of the Royal Scots, but was forced to leave in 1925 when he married nightclub hostess Evelyn Fisher, without permission. 

Coutts moved to Australia but unfortunately the marriage ended in divorce only 5 years later. This gave him the time to work for a Sydney-based fetish club as an illustrator and photographer, and he soon became involved with one of his models, Holly Faram. They married in 1942 and moved in together; it is said that when friends visited his apartment they were greeted with a black-and-white photo of Holly, naked and tied to a tree.

 Miss Miranda wearing our Oh You Tease! set, arriving in October.

In around 1945-47, Coutts moved to New York City, while Holly chose to remain in Australia, however they remained married. This is when Coutts adopted the name John Willie and started producing Bizarre Magazine (no, not the current one of the same name). 

The original Bizarre Magazine was sold via mail order to private consumers, and comprised of fetish-themed photographs (often of his wife), stories and hand-drawn illustrations, all created by Coutts and sometimes a guest contributor. Readers sent letters in covering themes such as bondage, amputee fetishism, transvestism, corsets and more.

It was Coutts' artwork that really set the magazine apart, and secured his place in the fetish hall of fame. Using models or photographs taken himself, he drew in an anatomically correct style, using different techniques for different characters. His heroines, such as his best known character Sweet Gwendoline, were drawn in a smooth form, whereas crosshatching and pen marks characterised his villains. 

Miranda wearing our Dominique set  and some delicious Fabulously Fetish boots!

Other characters that frequented Bizarre included a dominatrix known as U69 (sometimes censored to U89) and the only prominent male character in the series, Sir Dystic D'Arcy, who was a parody of Coutts himself. 

The comics were underscored with classic slapstick comedy, and used innuendos instead of explicit sexual depictions. Each episode featured Gwendoline foiling the plans of D'Arcy, resulting in her being restrained in complicated rope bondage for the majority of the story. It was obvious that Coutts genuinely liked women, as his female characters were always portrayed as intelligent, and his males as dimwitted muscle. 

 Miss Miranda wearing our Dominique corset

The art of John Willie influenced later artists, including ENEG and Eric Stanton, with the latter later creating his own version of Sweet Gwendoline, signing his name J.W. Stanton (for "John Willie") in tribute.

Although Coutts was friends with Stanton, their publicist Irving Klaw did not approve of his artists fraternising. 

If the name Irving Klaw rings a bell, I'm not surprised. He was one of the first fetish photographers and filmmakers, and the one who "discovered" Bettie Page. Klaw began his career selling second-hand magazines, which soon moved onto operating a mail order business selling cheesecake photos of movie stars. Customers began to request more "damsel-in-distress" bondage photographs, which he and his sister Paula began to take themselves using burlesque artists. 

Although still controversial, Klaw was extremely careful that none of his images contained sexual acts or nudity, which would render his business illegal. As the Bizarre Magazine publisher he also asked Coutts to sensor some of his work, feeling that it would be too extreme for some. 

In 1957 after 20 issues, Bizarre Magazine was either given or sold to Coutts' secretary and her then boyfriend, although it is said he was never happy with how they ran it. Coutts moved to Hollywood and sadly developed a brain tumour in 1961, which forced him to return to England.

It is said he died bitter and penniless, and destroyed his archives in anger. On the 5th August 1962 he died in his sleep.

"I've tried a corset on myself and it was nothing else but damned uncomfortable. It gives a women a beautiful shape which I like but I shall get double pleasure out of using it as an 'instrument of correction'...I don't like extreme cruelty, I simply apply as much as is needed to correct disobedience."

- John Alexander Scott Coutts a.k.a John Willie