Sex, Love & Body Positivity on Valentine’s Day
Right now, body autonomy is more important than ever. In a world where men make decisions for the organs they don’t even themselves possess, and claim our bodies are theirs for the taking, we need to remember the phrase “Our Bodies, Our Rules”. However, this isn’t our attempt at starting a revolution, but we’re honing in on creating the smaller victories. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and a perfect opportunity to have a refresher on sex and body positivity!
Valentine’s Day is first and up-most a day of love. There’s too much focus on over-the-top gestures and being in a “normal” relationship. I think it’s time we took it for what it is, and use the day to celebrate love and romance. Everyone should use this day to tell the people you love, that you love them, and to allow yourself to be loved as you deserve to be.
V-Day seems like a pretty good excuse to get it on, and the sex-positive crew that we are, we definitely encourage this behaviour! However, it doesn’t mean that we should throw out our morals and healthy reservations about sex out the window. Culturally, it is widely accepted that couples should have sex on Valentine’s, just like the idea that couple should have sex on their wedding night. However, let’s remember that cultural traditions don’t exactly get the blood pumping, and you or your partner(s) might not want to do it on Valentine’s, and that’s okay! It’s hard to not feel rejected when this happens, but remember there’s 365 days in the year, and you can make love on any one of them. Forcing something when you’re not really feeling it will just cause an awkward and uncomfortable tumble in the hay for the both of you. Instead, focus on other areas of intimacy, like cuddling, having long conversations, or having a laugh with each other and sharing something you both enjoy.
If yourself and your partner(s) do feel in the mood, then there’s still important things to remember about body autonomy. Just because it’s Valentine’s doesn’t mean you must do anything you’re not comfortable with as a “gift” to your partner(s), and you shouldn’t expect the same in return. It’s totally cool to share your fantasies with your partner, and maybe you want to do something different that they like to make it a special night, but if you don’t want to do it any other day, then question, why today? Anyone worth being with will understand if you’re not feeling it, and having a conversation about it will make you even more intimate. Communication is key! And you never know, talking about it might make you more comfortable about their kinks in the future. This includes using contraception: don’t endanger your sexual health or risk needing emergency contraception for the sake of one night!
Something that your partner(s) might request is you to wear something a bit different, or sexy. Some people love lingerie, but not everyone feels comfortable or sexy in lingerie! It’s okay if you want to give it a try, but if it feels weird to you then wear something that does make you feel sexy. Your confidence is the sexiest thing you can wear!
Not everyone is in a relationship on Valentine’s Day, and some people don’t want to be in a relationship, ever, and that’s fine! It can be quite isolating to be single on V-Day, so it’s important to remember to practice self-love. One of the most heinous things on Valentine’s is the endless sea of soppy status’ on Facebook and other social media. It’s cute if you want to show off your love, but not always nice to be on the receiving end of these notifications! Take a break from social media if you need to, you’ll be surprised by how free you feel without it and how much time you suddenly have. Reconnect with single friends during this time, and make sure they know they’re loved too! If you don’t feel like spending time with anyone else on Valentine’s, make sure to take care of yourself. Have a bubble bath, buy yourself a little gift, or take yourself out on a date!
How will you be spending Valentine’s Day this year?